God, this is a busy week. We have two upcoming tests which will basically determine our grades for the quarter and we’re reading a book which everyone loves, everyone except me apparently. The main character is the type of person which I hate with all my might. Holden Caulfied: a kid with problems…so what? Don’t we all have out own problems? Not because of that do we go around breaking widows, punching people or other similar stupidities. What bothers me most is the fact that there are many Holden Caulfields in my school and grade.
People need to feel they suffer like the rest to calm their conscience, especially at ASM: A school where people pay $10.000 a year for getting a proper education…and you see people listening to songs of revolution and how life is hard and how they have to kill, rap and smoke to survive…how in the world is any of that similar with the life of any student at ASM? They’re not precisely living under a bridge…so to speak. Because students here have basically anything they want, I suppose they want to fix more challenging goals for themselves like: drinking, smoking, doing graffiti and vandalizing stuff like wild monkeys (sounds manly and mature huh?) It’s as if they were ashamed of being wealthy and needed to calm their conscience by reassuring themselves that they are “street kids”…please! Can you get to be any more hypocrite? Of course we all have problems, but there are two ways of dealing with them: relying on the people who care for you and which you care for and accepting life’s not fair, or acting childishly saying life has cursed you and you are a poor martyr of society which will take revenge by opposing any figure of authority available and establish anarchy in the world…10 grand, and you get that? God knows why, but the luckiest people economically speaking are the ones which most imitate the less lucky ones. A year ago, and still this year, it was “fashion” to take a $100 jean and cut it up and wear super baggy pants that gave the impression they were going to fall off there and then…the guy didn’t have money for a belt? I don’t think so! Besides the stupidity shown in several fashion statements…politics is also influencing teenagers at ASM in a peculiar way…now, the “coolest of the coolest” are anarchist, Marxist-Leninists, or something like that….people! They have trouble articulating those words correctly, let alone understand them! Strangely enough, when you have people which can have almost anything they want, they bite the hand that feeds them. Not only that, but then they go and join political movements which they don’t understand at all just because they want to go against authority I mean 90% of the people wearing a Che Guevara shirt don’t even know what he did or why he did it! That’s what kills me of Holden and people like him: They brag about politics, the world and how society decays when they don’t even know how to tie their shoes. They think they’re the center of the world and everyone should pity or admire them because they move on in life with Christian resignation…furthermore, they express their…”frustration” by vandalizing public and private property, which we’ll end up paying for in taxes. They think their problems should be the center of everyone’s attention…We all have problems but only immature, spoiled kids like Holden Caulfield or people like him think they should be rewarded for enduring them.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
What you can get for ten grand...
Monday, October 24, 2005
Zeros and Ones
Haven’t you noticed how it’s so easy to say things that we feel online instead of in real life? This reminds me of a movie I saw not too long ago: You’ve Got Mail (Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks) kind of sad, but recommendable for rainy days. Truth is I expect to get some kind of answers to my questions in this blog but…I know I won’t, after all, it’s an anonymous English class assignment, what can come out of it? Anyways, I think it is at least useful to simply throw these questions and problems out there…To be completely honest, I’m saying anything that comes to mind to try not to speak about the problem that really worries me.
I argued with a friend of mine over a week ago and still haven’t settled out differences. The problem, or advantage, depending on your point of view, is that I don’t know him…he’s an online friend. It’s ironic how you can only know someone through a computer and still call him your friend. As they say in “You’ve Got Mail”, one of the good things of online relationships is that you always end up talking about something; it might be something as ridiculous as sports, the weather, week-end plans, whatever but to some extent, a friendship is formed. Anyways, this cyber-friend of mine got really upset over something I don’t consider specially serious and, maybe because of my reaction (he thought I lied to him in a conversation (I didn’t, just for the record) and I don’t have any way to prove I’m right), or maybe because of both our prides, we haven’t talked yet. I tried talking with him but he won’t listen…over a week’s gone by and I’m not really sure how this is going to end. You would think that with a simple right-click “delete contact” on my messenger it would be enough; after all, all I know of him is simply a combination of zeros and ones so, what should it matter? I’m afraid it really does…you can say that he might not be the person I know if I met him in the street but, I haven’t, and the cyber-version of him which I have met, I like and don’t want to lose. One of the disadvantages of being only online is that he can simply get rid of his problems by blocking or deleting me, in real life you see each other every day, which eventually forces you to talk…here, I might not talk to him ever again…who knows? He probably just deleted me after the conversation…which scares me because I though I meant more to him than just a bunch of numbers…it might be him, it might be my paranoia (we might end up laughing tomorrow about all this) but right now this esoteric combination of zeros and ones which make up my friend and I is giving me more problems than any real-life relation…ironic.
I argued with a friend of mine over a week ago and still haven’t settled out differences. The problem, or advantage, depending on your point of view, is that I don’t know him…he’s an online friend. It’s ironic how you can only know someone through a computer and still call him your friend. As they say in “You’ve Got Mail”, one of the good things of online relationships is that you always end up talking about something; it might be something as ridiculous as sports, the weather, week-end plans, whatever but to some extent, a friendship is formed. Anyways, this cyber-friend of mine got really upset over something I don’t consider specially serious and, maybe because of my reaction (he thought I lied to him in a conversation (I didn’t, just for the record) and I don’t have any way to prove I’m right), or maybe because of both our prides, we haven’t talked yet. I tried talking with him but he won’t listen…over a week’s gone by and I’m not really sure how this is going to end. You would think that with a simple right-click “delete contact” on my messenger it would be enough; after all, all I know of him is simply a combination of zeros and ones so, what should it matter? I’m afraid it really does…you can say that he might not be the person I know if I met him in the street but, I haven’t, and the cyber-version of him which I have met, I like and don’t want to lose. One of the disadvantages of being only online is that he can simply get rid of his problems by blocking or deleting me, in real life you see each other every day, which eventually forces you to talk…here, I might not talk to him ever again…who knows? He probably just deleted me after the conversation…which scares me because I though I meant more to him than just a bunch of numbers…it might be him, it might be my paranoia (we might end up laughing tomorrow about all this) but right now this esoteric combination of zeros and ones which make up my friend and I is giving me more problems than any real-life relation…ironic.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Falling stars
During this last week I couldn't help but notice how every time I woke up in the mornings I found two or three small, sticky pieces of plastic on my bed and I wondered where they were coming from. I normally sleep with the light that's in the hallway next to my room turned on, however last night our maid turned it off and I forgot to turn it back on. When I got into my bed and looked at the ceiling I saw that there were about 20 shining stars on it. It took me a while to remember that over 10 years ago, when I first came to the house I live in ('94) I got a pack of these shiny star stickers and put them all over the ceiling. The stars of course made no sense and looked like the background from a cheap sci-fi movie (I had 4 moons, each at a different phase and 5 shining stars all coming from differnt directions besides the normal stars which were all over the place) but they were still there. They were still shining, even though they had faded out through the years.
When I think back to the time I put those up I can't help but notice how things have changed. Of course trivial changes have occured: new restaurants, cinemas, cafés, you name it; but those aren't important. What I remember most is people and how, due to the school we got to, they come and go constantly, making friendship hard at times. I think you could easily divide students at ASM into two kinds: the ones that have been here pretty much since "the beginning" and those who, because of their parents' jobs will probably leave in a 1-5 year period. It's sad how you can have a great friendship with someone and have it killed because of their departure; no matter what people say, long distance friendships or other relationships don't work. Normally when someone is new to the school and leaves before a year or two, unless they really hit it off with the people there, the ties are not very hard to break. However when you have the opposite case: someone comes and leaves after 5 years at ASM, you really got to know them, to laugh with them and go places with them and that basically dies out as he/she leaves and you stay to start another year with new friendships which may in turn break up because of this same rule.
Going back to my starting point (to get carried away in a couple of lines), these stars made me think of how things were 10 years ago. I remembered my birthdays at Discovery Zone in "El Torreon" where three plastic tube-labs were a quizzical labyrinth for us in which any impossible thing could occur. I remembered one of the pictures I got taken at one of my DZ birthdays and remembered the people in it. Some of them have left and we never knew anything about them, other have come and gone and others have remained, but those which remained have changed drastically over the years, whether for good or for bad...I'm not sure. Every new year friendships are strengthened or weakened, depending on the various events that take place in our lives, and this year I feel like many of the friendships have been weakened. I see false smiles up front, back-stabbing with a straight face and fake emotions much more than I used to...that's not good. Most of the people which have either started out or ended up with us has affected our way of treating people...I think that now we refuse to be completely honest with our friends and think twice before saying what we mean. There's a Spanish saying, which translated into English goes something like this: "You should be able to count your true friends with a hand's fingers and still have fingers left over". Even if that is true, does that mean that we should lie and act falsely in front of those which aren't the best of friends? In a way, the stars that once surrounded us, some of which we never really saw as precious, are falling or fading out...
When I think back to the time I put those up I can't help but notice how things have changed. Of course trivial changes have occured: new restaurants, cinemas, cafés, you name it; but those aren't important. What I remember most is people and how, due to the school we got to, they come and go constantly, making friendship hard at times. I think you could easily divide students at ASM into two kinds: the ones that have been here pretty much since "the beginning" and those who, because of their parents' jobs will probably leave in a 1-5 year period. It's sad how you can have a great friendship with someone and have it killed because of their departure; no matter what people say, long distance friendships or other relationships don't work. Normally when someone is new to the school and leaves before a year or two, unless they really hit it off with the people there, the ties are not very hard to break. However when you have the opposite case: someone comes and leaves after 5 years at ASM, you really got to know them, to laugh with them and go places with them and that basically dies out as he/she leaves and you stay to start another year with new friendships which may in turn break up because of this same rule.
Going back to my starting point (to get carried away in a couple of lines), these stars made me think of how things were 10 years ago. I remembered my birthdays at Discovery Zone in "El Torreon" where three plastic tube-labs were a quizzical labyrinth for us in which any impossible thing could occur. I remembered one of the pictures I got taken at one of my DZ birthdays and remembered the people in it. Some of them have left and we never knew anything about them, other have come and gone and others have remained, but those which remained have changed drastically over the years, whether for good or for bad...I'm not sure. Every new year friendships are strengthened or weakened, depending on the various events that take place in our lives, and this year I feel like many of the friendships have been weakened. I see false smiles up front, back-stabbing with a straight face and fake emotions much more than I used to...that's not good. Most of the people which have either started out or ended up with us has affected our way of treating people...I think that now we refuse to be completely honest with our friends and think twice before saying what we mean. There's a Spanish saying, which translated into English goes something like this: "You should be able to count your true friends with a hand's fingers and still have fingers left over". Even if that is true, does that mean that we should lie and act falsely in front of those which aren't the best of friends? In a way, the stars that once surrounded us, some of which we never really saw as precious, are falling or fading out...
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Rainy Days
It’s raining, at last in Madrid. We’ve needed this rain for months now and finally, here it is. The sanctions imposed by the government on water consumption have affected our everyday lives. In my own building, an official letter posted on the elevator door informed all the neighbours about the new water policy and the sanctions for not following the new regulations (up to 46.000E!). Luckily, the new regulations didn’t limit the amount allowed for personal use, but all plant watering and mass water consumption was forbidden. If we’re lucky, it will rain throughout the week. Even if coming and going to and from school on my motorbike isn’t very comfortable when it’s raining, it’s good for Madrid.
It’s pretty curious how weather affects people. Some people get thrilled when rainy days come, others get utterly depressed and others remain neutral. I guess I’m in the group which remains more or less unaffected by this weather, however this semi-isolation makes me think about many things. When we’re finally alone, and at times like these, when we just write out what we feel, we really get to think of certain things we usually don’t have time for. The routine we follow every single weekday basically keeps us busy and away from any kind of personal questioning. We go and come from school, do our homework, watch TV, have dinner, chat with friends, get up, shower, and start all over again. I’m not going to go into specifics on what my “rainy day thoughts” are, but, what I will say is that I think it’s pretty sad how we can only think of things that really matter on “rainy” moments. I will also say that when we think about important things only to ourselves, we’re not at all impartial, and that’s the real danger of self-reflexion, there’s no one there to say “you’re kidding right?”…you either blame all your worries on yourself or you blame them on others…none of those are good policies. Of course, this has nothing to do with the weather; any moment where everything stops or slows down our regular routine allows for a time of thought. If nothing stops the wheel then we just worry about out everyday lives; our most serious problem is the test coming up next week or a project that you turned in late…trifles. It’s not until you really stop and take some time for yourself that you see what’s serious and what’s not, and even when you do, a couple of hours later you forget all about that and simply go on with your life, going back to your everyday worries which don’t let you see anything but a short-term vision of life.
It’s pretty curious how weather affects people. Some people get thrilled when rainy days come, others get utterly depressed and others remain neutral. I guess I’m in the group which remains more or less unaffected by this weather, however this semi-isolation makes me think about many things. When we’re finally alone, and at times like these, when we just write out what we feel, we really get to think of certain things we usually don’t have time for. The routine we follow every single weekday basically keeps us busy and away from any kind of personal questioning. We go and come from school, do our homework, watch TV, have dinner, chat with friends, get up, shower, and start all over again. I’m not going to go into specifics on what my “rainy day thoughts” are, but, what I will say is that I think it’s pretty sad how we can only think of things that really matter on “rainy” moments. I will also say that when we think about important things only to ourselves, we’re not at all impartial, and that’s the real danger of self-reflexion, there’s no one there to say “you’re kidding right?”…you either blame all your worries on yourself or you blame them on others…none of those are good policies. Of course, this has nothing to do with the weather; any moment where everything stops or slows down our regular routine allows for a time of thought. If nothing stops the wheel then we just worry about out everyday lives; our most serious problem is the test coming up next week or a project that you turned in late…trifles. It’s not until you really stop and take some time for yourself that you see what’s serious and what’s not, and even when you do, a couple of hours later you forget all about that and simply go on with your life, going back to your everyday worries which don’t let you see anything but a short-term vision of life.
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